Thursday, July 31, 2008

Late night thoughts

It's almost 11 at night and I can't sleep. My mind is racing with thoughts of things I don't really have control over. Yet I find myself ready and willing to accept God's comfort for all the hardships life brings. The last couple of days have been eye opening. We found out on Tuesday that there are some major complications with our best friends Andi and Curtis' pregnancy. Since they are not quite sure what the diagnosis is yet I don't want to post any speculations. I just had to write down my thoughts and felt prompted to do so.

As soon as we found out that something was wrong with baby Addison, I found myself being chastised for worrying about my trivial little sorrows. The Spirit has opened Adam and I's perspective to a more eternal one. I feel his love constantly around me and I see evidence of it in the pure simple nature of a tree lined park. I sat there with Adam today eating lunch and discussing what has been on our minds, I could not help but feel that God's plan is in place and that He has many means by which he will bring about his purposes. I feel my faith in my Savior deepening as I try to put my sorrow for my friends in His hands. I know that I am just an outsider in this particular picture, a mere decoration in the background, but I absolutely love my friends and it hurts me to see them in pain. I would protect them from pain if I could. I find myself not knowing what I can do or how I can be useful through this hard time. As I sat down tonight I opened my Book of Mormon to 2 Nephi 9:21 which read And He (Christ) cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam.

God has a plan. Christ is the center of that plan. He knows us individually and sent Christ to suffer not only for our sins but also for our sorrows. Coming to him works. I know that to be true. I feel His comforting power even as I type. Nobody knows us better than He does. This life is not eternal, the next one is. The one where we walk with prophets of old. The one where our bodies are healed and we are no longer trapped by physical limitations. The life where we sit at our Saviors feet and can see Him in His glory as He teaches us through His love. The life where we embrace once again all of our loved ones. I feel almost anxious to be there, yet I am grateful for my time here.

God's plan is a wondrous one and I believe that as we come closer to him through reading His words and pondering them, He will be able to open our minds to better understand His eternal perspective.

5 comments:

J Fo said...

Um...maybe I shouldn't have read that during school because it made me tear up a little! You are so right. What they are going through really makes any issues we are having seem trivial.

"Christ is the center of that plan. He knows us individually and sent Christ to suffer not only for our sins but also for our sorrows. Coming to him works." It's so true! What a great testimony! Thanks you for sharing and helping me to feel the Spirit today.

Aubrey said...

It's so interesting that this is how you have been feeling lately because just yesterday I was pondering almost the exact same things. Isn't the spirit so amazing? Thank you for your testimony.

Kim said...

Having a child sure makes you so much more aware of other peoples struggles with children. I never really understood how hard (and easy) it is to have a child. I remember when Krista lost her baby soon after I had Abigail, I could not stop thinking about it. I was quite as spiritually in tune as you are because it actually bothered me that something so terrible would happen. But then I went to the funeral for that sweet girl and to hear the testimony of her parents who so bravely spoke while feeling such pain. How amazing it is to be able to accept and trust God's will, but how much more peaceful than trying to fight it.

Peay Family said...

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

Scott and Analisa said...

I just heard about Andi from Eno. It is hard to imagine that some one so close would be experiencing something like this. Ecspecially just having had a baby it seems so surreal that anything could possibly go wrong. They are in my prayers. You have such an awesome testimony and you can tell that you are mindful of the Lord at all times.